Everything I Need To Know I Learned from Digg

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It's a widely known fact that Diggers are the ever-vigilant watchdogs of the internet, always ready to correct you when you're wrong.  Never fear, gentle reader, for enlightenment is a mere five steps away!

  1. Global warming is a vast left-wing conspiracy perpetrated by the greater scientific community for the sole purpose of scamming more funds. And of course that funding comes from your taxes.

  2. Taxation is how the government steals hard-earned money from its citizens without providing any benefits (such as infrastructure, education, or defense) in return.  Your income would be better spent on campaign donations for Ron Paul.

  3. Ron Paul is the only candidate worth supporting in 2008 because he will eliminate taxes, legalize marijuana, encapsulate the contiguous United States in an impenetrable bubble and launch it into a low Earth orbit.  Plus he won't censor your violent video games.
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  4. Video games aren't as great as they were back in the good old days of [insert console you grew up with here].  The Xbox 360 has a 99.9% failure rate; the Wii isn't truly "next gen"; the PS3 has no worthwhile games and costs more than you make in a month.  Thankfully you can still emulate Super Mario Bros. on your iPhone.

  5. Piracy is cool, honorable, and absolutely justified.  Johnny Depp wouldn't mislead you, would he?

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This page contains a single entry by Esk published on February 27, 2008 2:01 AM.

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Stealing is the Sincerest Form of Imitation is the next entry in this blog.

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